I TOLD YOU GUYS I WOULD DO IT THIS TIME.
And I did!
I am so happy right now; I don’t think I realized how disappointed I was in myself for NaNo in November until I managed to finish Camp. There were a few times where I was fully afraid I was not going to finish (again) because I am a creature of habit and I was traveling for work and being out of my usual writing zone really mixed me up.
Ugh, you see all those days where no writing happened or next to no writing happened? I was behind for 9 days. It was terrible. I was so upset. But I managed to get a lot of writing done on the weekends.
Had this been NaNo in November there is no way I would have caught up. But I find that having done Camp and set my own (much more realistic) goal, I actually had a lot more fun. Plus, my friends and I have come a long way as writers and supporters for each other. I feel like I have actually built a writing community that I feel safe in and that I grow from.
This has been a really great month for me as a writer; I have encountered new challenges and helped others through theirs. It has been wonderful!
Below the cut is another little sample of what I wrote today; I have not edited it at all, this win is very fresh, but I do enjoy sharing a little when I get something done.
Hana closed the door once she was sure the attendants would not follow their lady inside, then stepped about Lady Akiyama. “We do not have a receiving room, my lady, but please find comfort in my room. It is the only one we have with tatami.”
She led the way down a short corridor, knelt as she had seen the maids do in Tsutsuigasaki Hall, and pulled the door open.
“Please stand. You are to be my daughter-in-law, and I cannot have you groveling at my every step. Up.”
So this was not just a Lady Akiyama, but Kazuhiro’s mother. Her mother-in-law. Hana sucked in a deep breath and stood as she was told. Had she come out here, in secret, just to see her? Anxiousness ate away at her insides, igniting a tingle of emotion she had not felt since Fuku’s carriage had pulled down the lane.
“Let me see you.” Lady Akiyama placed her hand on Hana’s chin, turning her to face her directly.
Hana fought to keep her eyes on the molten charcoal of Kazuhiro’s mother. Her gaze held the same qualities of her son, searching and warm. Strong. There was an ocean within Hana which had remained unmoving which now rippled and threatened to crash against her walls. It would tear them down, and she was not armored to withstand the storm. This woman need do nothing but watch her and Hana’s defenses would crumble down.
What kind of power did this woman hold? It took all of Hana’s will to stand straight and not collapse before her in a pile of surrendered rubble.
Lady Akiyama smiled. “Ah, so that is it.”
She released Hana’s chin and turned into the room. Hana could feel her heart stammering against her chest, causing her to sway with the loss of Lady Akiyama’s hold keeping her standing tall. Like a succubus sapping power, Hana knew she had seen all of her.
“I… I will bring tea. Just a moment.”
Hana turned and rushed back to the kitchen, gathering the implements she had lain out earlier. After all the anger that she had allowed to settle into her bones, she found they held no control over her now. She may no longer have the desire to be a wife worthy of Kazuhiro, but something called for her to at the very least prove to Lady Akiyama that she had something worthy in her.
Had she not told her that no one knew she had come to Hana?