I met Thor today, guys. He was just as chivalrous as you would expect (never interrupted me once!), and his cape was oh-so-luxurious. I asked him if I could hide within it’s billowy depths, but I didn’t get a response. Because he was made of WAX.
Hello, it’s January 5th, and today I turned twenty-nine, and it’s WEIRD. Weird
Weird, because it doesn’t feel like I became a year older. Weird, because a lot happened in my 28th year and yet it feels like I turned 28 only a couple months ago. Weird, because I actually spent the day without falling into a mess of nerves due to the fact I am one year closer to the end and still haven’t achieved half the things I want to (morbid, I know, but one cannot always help the way their brain works).
Weird because I’m not as sad as I thought I would be about being less than a year away from the big 3-0. And weird because I don’t feel as if I have aged much at all– I don’t feel much different from how I was a year ago.
And yet, I know a lot has changed. I am about to get deep with you all in a way I’ve never been before, so hold on.
I went into my 28th year with two mental health diagnoses; general social anxiety and agoraphobia. I had to take medication to handle these. I had suspected I had anxiety well before this, but the stress of the previous year with my husband’s illness and working at a job I was no longer passionate about without supportive mentors or peers compounded it. I was living in a state with no friends. I was burnt out and unhappy in every sense of the word; these things just barely scratch the surface.
I ended the year in a new position at the same company that I am sincerely passionate about in which I am on the leader with a wonderful staff. I moved out of Colorado to Texas, which has brought us closer to many friends and family that are now within driving distance (2 – 5 hours). I have my energy and my drive back, I’ve been off the anxiety medication for nearly 6 months and have been able to conquer some of the things that once made me a useless, anxious mess to get a handle on the agoraphobia. I started doing things I’ve always been passionate about but had failed for years to make time for.
I started this blog. I made new friends. I took my first ever girls-only trip to New York. I focused on my marriage and built it stronger and more supportive. I have pushed my own boundaries and made myself a better, bigger person.
Turning 28 was exhausting for me. Turning 29 seems like it’s just the beginning of the best. I’m super happy that I feel as if I can start making plans for the future now instead of wondering if things are ever going to get better. I think that’s really telling– and it also explains why I feel like this last year didn’t happen. I was not a happy person at the beginning of year 28, but at the end of it I was. I really, really was.
That’s enough of me getting mushy on you all. Have a picture of me and my husband pointing to a sign that has our last name on it. Because we’re cool.